An offering for the toddler families of Room 6 from Resident Teacher Sophie R
There are gifts we can give our children to support them in this strange and uncertain time.
Play
"For younger children, play is the number one activity that will reduce stress
and help children get their equilibrium back."
(Barbara Frazier, The Successful Parent)
and help children get their equilibrium back."
(Barbara Frazier, The Successful Parent)
Spend time daily playing with your child; let them lead in play and participate as they indicate. During play, turn off your phone and give your complete attention. Even if you are only playing for 15 - 20 minutes, the participation and intentionality of your focus will help your child feel better.
- The science: Play activates dopamines in the brain, while increasing attentiveness.
- Play gives children a sense of control and power that helps to calm distress and helplessness.
- Imaginary play particularly gives younger children the space to work out emotional conflicts in disguise. That is, they feel relief without full knowledge of what was worked out. Adults have the ability to talk through problems, but children put the conflicts into play situations where they can experience control and work the problems out at a distance.
Soothe
Amidst all of this, you may see your child lose some recently gained steps in independence. It may be your first instinct to stand your ground here and insist on the abilities you know your child has developed. In this circumstances, if your child is asking for more of your time and space than usual, give into it a bit. Take a moment to cuddle on the couch, watch a movie together, build a pillow fort and "camp out" inside, or simply engage them in some uninterrupted conversation.
Instead of resisting the cling, lean into it until your child feels calmer, then back up a little bit.
Reaffirm your love for them, make them feel important, and re-establish your bond.
Instead of resisting the cling, lean into it until your child feels calmer, then back up a little bit.
Reaffirm your love for them, make them feel important, and re-establish your bond.
Verbalize
Children often feel anxiety or distress but don't know how to express themselves verbally, so they act it out.
There are strategies to support children in moving from acting out feelings to verbalizing them. For toddlers, this may look like offering the words to the child when they don't have the words themselves. You don't have to get detailed here, just offering words to label feelings is calming. Eventuarlly, "they will internalize your words and learn how to verbally identify the feeling themselves" (Barbara Frazier, The Successful Parent).
There are strategies to support children in moving from acting out feelings to verbalizing them. For toddlers, this may look like offering the words to the child when they don't have the words themselves. You don't have to get detailed here, just offering words to label feelings is calming. Eventuarlly, "they will internalize your words and learn how to verbally identify the feeling themselves" (Barbara Frazier, The Successful Parent).
- Keep this simple. Offer a few different and specific words.
- Label without a lot of extra conversation
- "The words are potent and give kids a place to put the feeling and leave it" (Barbara Frazier, The Successful Parent).
The list below contributed to the suggestions above and also offer additional ideas and resources for you and your family during this pandemic.
Signs of regression and what to do about it: One mom’s story
The Successful Parent: What to do when your child regresses
Dr. Mark Brentin (developmental pediatrician): Mindfulness guides for children
CDC’s guidelines
Zero to Thrive: Ideas on what to say, how to take care of yourself right now
Ways to Untwist Your Thinking
Signs of regression and what to do about it: One mom’s story
The Successful Parent: What to do when your child regresses
Dr. Mark Brentin (developmental pediatrician): Mindfulness guides for children
CDC’s guidelines
Zero to Thrive: Ideas on what to say, how to take care of yourself right now
Ways to Untwist Your Thinking